Monday, May 21, 2012 , 4:35 PM
I haven't been this sad this year. My condition has deteriorated. I can feel thay my body is changing and the symptoms are back. To say I am not afraid of death is a lie. I wonder, how long can I live? How long am I still left with? I am really afraid.
Life is so vulnerable. Once you lost your good health, you'll never want anything more than having a healthy body back. I have never really regret, all I regret was that I did not take good care of myself and let the worst thing happen. I know if I ever die, it won't be painful but I can't bear the pains of the people that loves me. So emotional.
Sigh.
Very grumpy.
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