Tonight, I realized I ruined his life. I never see myself as someone who is so selfish and despicable, and now, I am clear of that.

I am really sorry for everything I have done to ruin all your lifes, people out there, I am sorry. If I ever hurt you, once, twice, repeatedly, unknowingly, knowingly, I am sorry about how fuck up a person I am.

I do not ask for your forgiveness. I wish everyone hates me, I wish I deserve some form of hates from all those that I screwed.

Even I feel disgusting of myself now. I am beginning to hate myself. Ha, it's really a joke of me.

I made a decision tonight.